Don't Mess around with Jim revisited
by Ms Boku
Summary: A missing scene to Don't Mess Around with Jim. After their adventure in Las Vegas and their encounter with the ship, Bill begins to think about the future. Some minor spoilers.


Don't Mess around with Jim revisited by Ms Boku

A missing scene to "Don't Mess Around with Jim." After their adventure in Las Vegas and their encounter with the ship, Bill begins to think about the future. Some minor spoilers.

I would also like to thank Mel for helping me with my first missing scene. Thanks so much.

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Bill Maxwell waited in the Whitney High School parking lot for Ralph to arrive. He'd been pacing and had a look of grave concern on his face.

A few days ago he and Ralph had helped J.J. Beck, eccentric millionaire who faked his own death, to find his missing will. J.J. also knew about the suit because he was its former owner. When they got the job done Ralph, Bill, J.J. and his partner Marshall, ended up out in the desert where the spaceship appeared.

Bill had not been able to sleep for days and needed to talk to Ralph. When he finally arrived he was trying express his concerns and Ralph's jokes about his middle level mind didn't help.

"_What is wrong with you_?" Ralph spit out.

"_When we…croak…finally, do you think that the uh…ya know…the uh._.."  
He pointed up. "_Come on. You know. That they're gonna come down and, and, and snap us up the way they did Beck? Do you think that we're gonna be flyin' around in the sky with little green guys for-forever?_"

It looked like Ralph wasn't taking him serious. "_Ralph this is not funny!_"

"_I think that's terrific Bill. Terrific_."

"_Huh?"_

"_I think that would be a wonderful experience._"

"_Oh yeah it's an experience sure. And it's uplifting I'm sure. But I, I have this conventional need to be buried in the ground at Forest Lawn with a little stone that says here lies the fed who busted his acorn doin' the right thing. You know, he didn't lie, cheat or steal. He was a good guy. I need-._"

"_You think they might come down and pick us up and take us away?_"

"_Ralph!_"

"_I think that's a wonderful idea!_"

"_It's a horrible idea!_"

"_It's wonderful!_"

"_It's horrible!_"

"_It's wonderful_."

"_It's horrible!_"

Bill had come to the conclusion that Ralph had a much different view about going up in space with the green guys to live after they die.  
He knew he was not going to get any headway with Ralph so after they're conversation he went for a drive to clear his head.

He really didn't want to be snatched up and fly around space forever with the green guys.  
He wanted to be on Earth in the ground. He was a good fed. A down to earth guy who happened to work for guys that weren't from Earth.

This was too big for Ralph and too big for him so he had to go somewhere and tell someone who was as big as the problem.

'Palmdale.' Bill made an uncomfortable face. 'Geeze, I can't believe I'm out here again.'

Bill was uneasy but he had to get this resolved and this was the only place it was going to happen. He went off the main road to a quiet spot in the area where they usually encountered the spaceship. His only comfort was that they were busy with Beck and wouldn't come back…he hoped.

He turned off the ignition and sat there for a while. This was the most unusual thing he'd ever done.  
He took a deep breath and got out of the car. He walked a few feet then he stopped. This went on for some time. When he was through he leaned against his car, took another deep breath and looked up.

'Uh, ok. I know you're up there and I um…I really need to have some kind of security here cause I'm gonna end up weaving baskets for the rest of my life if I don't get some kind of resolution here.'

He started to pace again. He was so preoccupied trying to say what was on his mind that he failed to notice a light in the distance coming closer…

'Well, it's this whole Beck thing see. Um, it's not like I, I uh…don't…'

He was faltering over his words.

'Look! I'm a good fed and I like the fact that, ya know we got the suit! We've done a good job and I think that, that I deserve…I just-'

As he turned his head something caught his attention.

'Aw no!' He got back in his car as fast as he could. The last thing he wanted was to get a visitors pass to space central.

'You were supposed to stay up there and listen.' He winced. Like Ralph's invisibility he was never going to get used to this.The ship took position over his car and hovered. Then without warning they began to speak over the radio. This was another thing that made him jump.

The dial on the radio moved to different stations finding words to communicate.

'You…wish…to…speak…Mr…federal….man…

'Uh…yeah. I, um…I think that we, uh, that is Ralph and I are doing a a good job here and uh, well, while Ralph would uh not mind go-going with you up…there-'

He was trying to spit it out and his nerves were getting the better of him. He had to just say it. The green guys could be reasonable…right?

He cleared his throat. 'OK I'm just gonna say it! When we well, I die I wanna stay here on American soil. I wanna be buried on Earth. I don't wanna go wandering around space. Ralph does. He likes all that weird stuff. Um, I need um, request that I not go…with you uh p-please. I need a guarantee that when my time comes I can stay here. It's gonna drive me right to the rubber room if not and I don't want that.'

He made a face. This was one definitely one for the books.

There was a long silence. The radio dial moved startling Bill.

'Mr…federal…man…you…have…served…well…'

Silence.

'Request…granted.'

The spaceship turned and began to rise moving away from Bill's car. It went into the sky and shot into the heavens.

Bill took a deep breath and relaxed in his car. He was relieved that his end time was secure and he was able to regain his composure.

'Ya just gotta know how to handle these guys. Let em know who's boss.'

The radio went on very loud on a local station causing Bill to just about jump out of his socks.

'Right!'

He turned on the car and promptly left.


End file.
